I’d like to start a conversation on a topic that I believe needs more attention within the health sector, especially among mental health professionals: women’s mental health during pregnancy and how it often gets pushed to the bottom of the priority list.
As you may know, my wife and
I are expecting another baby in the coming weeks. I'm not writing this on her behalf; I'm writing this to raise awareness because many couples and new mothers may not have the voice to talk about this issue.
Here’s our personal experience: Before the pregnancy—which was unplanned—Chloe was on medication to help manage her mental health and sleep. Everything was going well; her meds were effective, and she had a good handle on everything. Chloe’s mental health isn’t bad by any means, but the medication gave her that extra bit of support.
Once we found out we were having a baby, the first thing our doctor did was take her off her mental health medication. I won’t share the name of the medication for privacy reasons, but the doctor said it “wasn’t safe for pregnancy.” We obviously agreed because, as soon as you find out you’re going to have a baby, you do everything to protect the baby. As a mother, you're just expected to put your needs last—but we’ll get back to this in a moment.
A few weeks went by, and the pregnancy was going okay, but as her husband, I started noticing Chloe’s mental health slipping. I brought it up with our medical team, and they said they couldn’t add or change anything, but they offered her free psychology sessions through the hospital. Again, Chloe, being a great mother, put herself second. We were halfway through the pregnancy, and I could see Chloe struggling more and more, so we went back to the doctors. They said there was nothing they could do. This is when I said, "No, there has to be something else." For the first time during the pregnancy, they made me feel like I was putting the baby at risk because I was advocating for my wife. So, I really got to experience how Chloe and every mother feels at these times and it wasn’t nice at all.
Let me pause here, because I think we all know what happens next: “Nothing, because we don’t want to risk the baby, and she’s receiving the right talk therapy.”
In this day and age, how is this still a problem? Many amazing mothers need medication to maintain their mental health before, during, and after pregnancy. We talk about the risks of perinatal depression, postnatal depression, and even suicidal ideation, but the system is putting these mothers and families at risk because of the small risks associated with the mother taking the life-saving medication she needs. You might think, “It’s not life-saving,” but to these women and their families, it absolutely is. It might be the support they need to get through the pregnancy or maintain a good quality of life.
We know the statistics on family breakdown during pregnancy are high, and we wonder why. It’s because mothers are being ripped away from their support medications and they have to deal with the normal life pressures plus now the pressures of being pregnant and then having the baby.
Mothers and families need as much support as possible during this time. This might include keeping the mother on her current medication or even adding new medication. Yes, that might increase the risk to the baby, but the risk to the mother’s mental health and life is, I believe, much more important. If taking the mother off this supporting medication it lowers the risk to the baby by 5%, but I can almost guarantee it’s going to increase the risk to the mother 10x fold.
We need more studies around this. As mentioned above, this is not just our personal experience, we hear it all the time from other mums and dads. The system needs to change now.
And to the husbands out there, stand up for your wives. The system is good at guilt-tripping expecting mothers, but please talk to your wife, and if she’s unhappy, stand up for her. Sometimes, you may be the voice she needs, and I promise it will make the pregnancy and the first few years of your new baby’s life more comfortable for both of you.
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